Posts Tagged ‘Kids of Divorced parents’
The Birthday Bagel
I must admit. When I first became a Single Dad, I was still honing my culinary skills. I had become somewhat proficient at grilling steak and hot dogs, could zap a baked potato, and mastered adding butter, salt, pepper to frozen veggies, BUT baking a cake or cupcakes..well that was beyond my ability to concentrate. With my youngest’s birthday approaching I needed to figure something out like yesterday.
While wandering the isles of the grocery store trying to figure out if I added fudge brownies to yellow cake and chocolate cake would that make it a 3 layer cake, I happened to see the most beautiful culinary site ever. Yes an almost perfectly round Bagel. This thing was awesome about 5 inches across, with a squished together center, and about an inch high. I knew immediately that if I added a singing candle my cake worries were over. Thus began the Birthday Bagel tradition. I must admit we have substituted English Muffins, Croissants, 6 or 7 pieces of bread pressed together with crusts cut off, and even jelly filled donut when Dad forgot the bagel. However, the tradition became one we shared over and over. On one’s birthday morning, they come down the stairs at Dad’s house to find their card, present and birthday bagel.
I encourage each of you to establish your own Single Dad traditions. They don’t have to be elaborate or super expensive. They just have to be y’alls tradition. Now go do what you have to do to…
Make it a super day,
Kevin
Many Schools in the Northeast have decided that given kids 2 weeks off the week before and the week after Easter is too disruptive for the second semester of the academic year. There solution is to have a week off in February and a week off in March or April depending on when Easter is. As a Single Parent you need to know as soon as possible when these weeks occur, or you could find yourself waking up one morning wondering why the kids are sound asleep on a school day.
Yes this happened 10 years ago, I frantically woke my oldest up saying “Let’s go time to get ready for school”, her reply “Dad we don’t go to school until next Monday” floored me. How did I miss this? More importantly, how did I agree to my Ex going out of town the entire week? Did ya ever stop and think your life needed a rewind button?
I keep telling y’all that I learned to be a Single Dad through trial and error. Mark checking school calendars down as learning by error method. Please Dad’s what ever you do, get a copy of the remainder of the school year’s calendar and update your own calendar. Most school districts now have internet access (yes, you will have to ask your kid or your Ex for the Family user name and password), and find out what is going on. Pay particular attention to any updates on how your school district is handling excess snow days, just in case your kids have exceeded the number of snow days built into the schedule. Better to be forewarned than finding out at the last minute.
I scrambled 10 years ago to make sure my kids had adult supervision all week long. Took a couple of unplanned vacation days, had a terrible case of morning flu one day, and volunteered to watch neighborhood kids on my vacation day in exchange for the days I had to work. You don’t need to scramble if you have all year or even a couple of months to plan things out. However, should you decide to learn days off as soon as they are posted, you and your kids can plan some awesome activities.
One of the best is a kid friendly All-Inclusive vacation. This is something I did not know existed for Families. I knew there were plenty of adult only All-Inclusive vacations, heck I even did a few Internet searches for a place to get away to. But taking my kids, that wasn’t something I thought about doing. I wish I had though. What an awesome experience to bond as a Family. Laying around on the Beach, swimming, snorkeling, boogie boards, ping pong matches, braided hair with beads, smelling like sunscreen all week long, walks on the beach, and sunrises and sunsets. I guarantee you will create memories which will last a lifetime.
Make the most of your time with your kids. Embrace the vacation weeks and spend time as a Family bonding. What a unique opportunity you have. Use it to the fullest. Use garage sales to help fund the vacation. Create your memories in the manner you desire. Make your kid’s day a super one. I know you will enjoy every minute of every smile on their faces.
Now go do what you have to do to…
Make it a super day,
Kevin
As those familiar with Internet Marketing are aware, the rules pertaining to “Testimonials” and their use have been changed. No longer can the warning “Results aren’t typical” allowed to be hidden in some obscure font hiding on the page some where. Now don’t get all bent out of shape because Internet Marketers are guilty of this. It really isn’t any different than the small print at the bottom of a car ad on TV where it says the car is being driven by a professional driver on a closed course (don’t believe me, look closely at any car ad where the car is being driven). Additionally, when using a Testimonial you should spell out the “typical” results the average client should see.
Keeping the new rules in mind, I will dispense with the legal verbiage prior to sharing the Testimonial: The following “result” is not only typical, it should be expected. The average Father can and should expect to create lasting memories in his child’s mind through everything he says and does, even when he is joking around with his kids. Your children hear and observe what you say and will repeat their “Dad” stories when you least expect it. Dads I am serious. This includes jokes you tell, songs you sing, stories you tell, noises you make, food and beverage you consume, the cleanliness of your bedroom and/or house, the manners you use at home and in public, the way you treat neighbors and friends and strangers, the way you drive, the way you talk, the way you refer to others like your boss and co-workers, the effort you show when playing sports, all that you do in front of your kids..
Will be learned/copied/emulated/repeated.
The following “Testimonial” was given to me by my oldest as a Father’s Day gift. Judging by the drawing of “Daddy” in the middle of the page the project took place 10+ years ago. The project was to tell 3 stories about your Dad.Here is one of those stories in.
“Cool”
As we return from church, my dad remembers he has to call one of his buddies and tell them that he can’t go golfing with them on Wednesday. So he calls his house/ “Hey buddy…buh bye now”. When he hangs up I laugh and say “I think it is cool that you can talk to your self like that and not feel the least bit stupid!” Big mistake! The rest of the ride he was bragging that we finally thought of him as “cool” and how he was “As cool as the other side of the pillow” (1). That night I went to bed and when my pillow got hot I flipped it over and when the3 cold pillow hit my cheek I could only think of my dad. So when I told him the next morning he said “I kinda figured that that would happen and now when you get to be eighty nine years old and you are talking to your great-grandkids you’ll say how cool I am. As cool as the other side of the pillow”
(1) Thank you Stewart Scott and ESPN Sports Center for as cool as the other side of the pillow.
I wish I could say that every day since this was written my daughter thought I was “cool”. Nope this is the real world and what ever opposite of “cool” is, I was thought that way many times. But I guarantee you, every time my daughter switches to the cool side of the pillow deep in her heart she thinks about her crazy Dad. Is there any greater gift you can give your child? I think not. Create your moments and stories and memories with your children, never pass up an opportunity to be “cool”, never pass up and opportunity to show you are normal and do goofy things. Never pass up an opportunity to be a Dad your child will one day share with her children and grand kids.
Now go do what you have to do to…
Make it a super day,
Kevin
I had a very interesting morning. I woke up, did a quick work out, and started the ole hemming and hawing about whether or not I was going to go to Church. Finally decided I should head on over as the last time I went was during the last decade. I know some of you aren’t going to believe this, but I arrived a tad bit late. I thought 5 minutes, but turns out the service begins at 10 not 10:30. Sure hope one gets credit for going even if they miss more than half the service. At least I got to hear the entire sermon.
Being very late I hung out in the back of the church, which may not have been a good idea. Why? because as I was looking out over the congregation I observed a Dad and his child, and that started my laughter meter running. You see everything the Dad did his child mimicked. Dad rolled his neck and immediately a 6 year old was rolling her neck. Dad switched weight from side to side and you guessed it so did his daughter. Dad stretched his arm along top of pew, and so did his precious Princess. I am cracking up because I know Dad was out late watching football and was having issues staying awake. I also know according the baby-sitter when he called around 8 all the kids were asleep. Yet there was his mimic copying his ever move.
It did not stop in the pew. After the service in the gathering area everything Dad did his daughter did the same. Dad got coffee, a cookie, laughed at a joke, stood with one hand on his hip, leaned in to talk with old people, kept running his hands across his face, I mean everything Dad was doing his movements were being copied. I asked my friend about his monkey see monkey do daughter and he just laughed. Said it was a game they played when someone wasn’t feeling well to try and cheer the other up (like I said Dad was ready for some football the night before).
This got me to thinking about the examples we set for our kids on a daily basis. Examples we don’t think twice about. You see as Parents many times we just go about our lives oblivious to the importance of what we do to the learning of our children. Think about the things you do around your kids. Do you “screen calls”? Do you sit around or are you active? Do you eat healthy or eat junk food? Do you wear a bike helmet when you bike ride with the kids? Do you look both ways before crossing a street? Do you smoke? Do you grab chips or fruit to snack on? Do you gossip about the neighbors? Do you talk bad about Family? Do you cheat at games? Do you act the way you want your kids to act?
If you are subconsciously teaching your kids bad habits by your actions, I encourage you to make some changes in the way you do things. Take advantage of your children wanting to be like their Dad and do things that reflect this awesome responsibility. Don’t think for a minute that “hiding” your bad habits keeps your kids from knowing you do them and wanting to do them to be like you. Take control of teaching positive choices to your kids. Be the Dad you would want to mimic. We have such a short time in our children’s life when they will do anything to be like us..give them something amazing to be like.
Now go do what you have to do to…
Make it a super day,
Kevin
I probably should have written this blog a couple of weeks ago. Sometimes ya just got to ask yourself “What was I thinking?” Halloween is an excellent opportunity for a Single Dad to enjoy some one-on-one time with his children. The only choosing between Mom and Dad your kids need to make is which house/neighborhood do they want to trick or treat in first. Someone needs to walk along and help in the early years and pretend not to be there in the later years. Trust me my friend; you want to be the person on the street with your kids.
Now some of you may be wondering why do I have to get bundled up (yes it does snow a lot on Halloween in places like Buffalo), and/or get home early to make sure you get out when it starts to get dark (especially if you are going to get candy in both neighborhoods). After all why can’t my Ex be the one to walk around while you give out candy at home? Simple..Trick or Treating is FUN..You get a chance to be a kid again and teach your youngsters how the Master Trick or Treated “back in the day”. You can run and yell and giggle and laugh and eat candy and embarrass your kids by your goofy costume. In short you get an opportunity to be human and not just a Parent.
By now you probably have your pumpkins bought and carved..If not take your kids tomorrow and go buy a pumpkin or two. Yes, they are 5 or 10 times more expensive than when you were a kid (so maybe plant a pumpkin patch next year and grow your own), so be prepared to spend a few bucks. Buy your annual reusable pumpkin carving kit (don’t kid yourself you will never remember where you put it to use next year until you pack the house up to move), buy a newspaper, and bring that bad boy home to carve up. FYI, pumpkin carving is messy..no amount of preparation will decrease the mess..layers of newspaper might contain some of the mess, but never eliminate it. Who cares, you are meesing up y’alls house/apartment so you won’t get yelled at. Always remember simple eyes and nose and mouth (think triangles and Hillbilly teeth) are the easiest to carve.
A special paragraph on pumpkin seeds: They taste terrible but you are going to cook them up anyway so here is one way to cook them. Pre heat oven to 275 degrees, try to separate seeds from stringy stuff without accidentally getting that stuff into each other’s hair, put seeds and stringy stuff into a colander (you didn’t think you could separate that stuff did you?), run water over seeds trying to pull seeds apart/away from stringy stuff, pat seeds and stringy stuff dry on lots and lots of paper towel, line a cookie sheet with foil (OK drive to Grocery store and buy a rectangular cookie sheet), spray foil with nonstick spray (return to store buy nonstick spray), spread seeds and sticky stuff on foil, put into oven and bake 30 minutes or until smoke alarm goes off telling you the sticky stuff has finally burnt off, take out of oven, burn hands trying to separate seeds from burnt sticky stuff, let cool down, rub seeds between your hands causing little black flecks of sticky stuff to coat counter and floors, place remaining seeds and burnt stuff into large zip lock bag, sprinkle way too much salt into bag, shake bag, pull out a handful of seeds, place into mouth, chew, and spit out. Christmas week is when we would throw out the bag of seeds and burnt sticky stuff, you might want to use New Years or Valentine’s Day as your disposal day.
Here are some other reminders. Ghosts and Bums and Last Sporting Team your kid played on will maybe work as a costume until 5th or 6th grade..then again they might never work if there is a school function. Keep in mind costumes are expensive and last 10 minutes max after a child puts it on (except the Fairy Princess costumes which last forever because Dad can never get the Princess’s’ hair right so she never puts it on). Talk with your Ex and decide who is going to go costume buying (remember if you go and your child is looking at an expensive costume you can always say I’ll get this mask to go with that costume which will embarrass your kid so much that they will change choice if you change mask). Enjoy Halloween for the FUN that it is and the FUN you and your kids can have.
Now go do what you have to do to…
Make it a super Halloween,
Kevin
