Posts Tagged ‘cooking with kids’

Hello again. It has been 6 months since I have written a blog post on being a Successful Single Parent. During this time divorced moms and dads have asked me what I have been doing, what caused me to stop writing and sharing, just where in the heck I have been. At first I must admit, I was flattered by the fact that so many cared what I was up to and why I stopped writing. Many still listened to me and Colleen on our radio show as we shared a “She Said He Said” perspective on being a Single Parent; however, they noticed the lack of blog postings. I guess I could make up a lot of stuff as to why I haven’t been updating my blog, but the truth is I was lost in making a very important decision in my life.

About 3 months ago it finally it dawned on me that I had failed to define a Successful Single Dad, and by failing to do so, I had lost my focus as to what I was teaching and sharing. It was all about making me a successful entrepreneur, and less about making y’all a successful single parent. Once I figured this out, I still had to take care of myself, as I had let my body shape change shapes. When one’s stomach (don’t even try to pull the I wear a 34 because your pants are down around your housing group) measured belly button to belly button is bigger than your chest measured around your man boobs, my friend that just aint right. I was at a cross roads in my life as a Single Dad. I had to either Advance or Die. Harsh reality, but nonetheless the road I was traveling. What are the key things that above all else define a Successful Single Dad? That was my quest as I changed my diet and workout an hour + a day. What were the things I did right which made the biggest differences in my Kid’s lives? What were the 4 or 5 messages I could share that are guaranteed to make you a Successful Single Dad..for that matter a Successful Dad?

A Successful Single Dad is a man who loves his children more than he hates his Ex, who knows the life lessons he teaches his children will affect not only his kids but his grandkids, who makes his children the focus of his life (yes this means going to practice and games, Teacher Conferences, school functions, car washes/fund raisers, etc), but most importantly who teaches his children to be healthy and active through his diet and exercise.

In other words: Stop bitching about your Ex. Start loving her for being the Mother of your Children. Use her given name; don’t call her the Ex or the former Mrs _____. You don’t have to like her or the situation y’all are in. BUT you do have to raise your children as Co-Parents. Do you really want to teach your Kids that you can easily fall out of love with someone because they piss you off? Imagine what goes through their minds when you get upset and punish them. “Does Daddy talk bad about me to his friends like he does about Mommy?” “Does my daddy hate me like he hates my Mommy?”

Your Children will learn their best life lessons imitating your behavior. Make a big deal about having to call your Parents..guess who isn’t going to get a call when his Kids grow up. Always drink a beer or two when y’all go out or you and the Kids are at a party…guess whose Kids are going to think it is OK to drive after drinking when they are teenagers. Ignore your neighbors..guess whose Kids are going to grow up and always have issues in their neighborhoods. Smoke or do Drugs..guess whose Kids are going to be first in line to be cool like their Dad.
Quick look at the appointments you have scheduled between now and the end of the year. How many are work and your fun things vs your Kid’s activities? Do you know when your Child’s teacher conference is? Do you even know their teacher’s names? When was the last practice you sat through? When was the last game you went to even though it wasn’t your night to have the Children? When was the last time you called in sick to work because it was Columbus Day and school was out?

As for health and diet: You need to get up off your fat lazy ass and take your Kids outside and run their little rears into the ground. Challenge them to a game of horse, and love the night you finally lose. Put lights up outside and win World Series and Super Bowls and World Cup games with your kids. Teach them to chip and hack up the lawn. Race walk them around the block. Ride bikes, pull them in a wagon, and have them haul your old man body around in a wheel barrow. Fix healthy meals, plan healthy meals and shop together for the stuff that goes into those healthy meals.

You see my friends your choice is very simple. You can either Advance as a Successful Dad or you can Die at it. Throw some dirt over being a real Dad, and just do it your way. Blame the divorce and become a part time Dad. Lose the most important part of you to your own selfish wimpy whiny ways. I hope you decide to join me for an amazing journey of being a Successful Single Dad. Your Children deserve the best you have to offer. Don’t cheat them out of having the Best Dad in the World.

Now go do what you need to do to…

Make it a super day,
Kevin

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I can’t help it. Every Friday around 3:30pm I start to get nervous. I go into overload at work completing everything I can or putting it into a folder I can pull out on Monday morning. I start checking the weather for the upcoming weekend. Check driving conditions. Making sure when the whistle blows at 5pm I am ready to head home and start “My Weekend” with my kids. After all, for the past 15 years my every other “Weekend” started on Friday. It was Daddy Time and I was thrilled.

I wish I could say that every weekend was perfect. Well..I guess I could because this is a blog and I can say pretty much what I want, but that would not be honest. I have promised y’all from the beginning that I would always tell the truth even when it didn’t always make me look the best. I believe that if your goal is to be a Successful Dad, there will be mistakes made along the way, and it is up to you to learn from those mistakes, make the correction and do better the next time.

My biggest mistake occurred early on in my new life as a Single Dad. I failed to properly plan for the weekend. Failure to plan my friends can be a nightmare.

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Here is my beginners list:
•    Proper clean clothes
•    “ALL” homework
•    Food in the house
•    Toiletries stocked (shampoo, TP, female product, conditioner, nail polish remover, band aids, brushes, hair ties, hair glop to make it curly or straight, etc)
•    Milk
•    OJ with and without pulp
•    Uniforms
•    Contact info for sleep-overs
•    Church clothes
•    Shoes of all types
•    Times for weekend appointments
•    Contact info for Mom
•    Knowledge of who is and who isn’t in trouble and what that means at Dad’s house
•    Activities planned (shoveling snow and mowing the grass are fantasies..LOL)
•    Coats, boots, flip flops, shorts, swim suit, gloves, hats, sunglasses
•    Menu planned
•    House “clean” to start the weekend

Just a few things to keep you going and keep “Your Weekend” the best it can be. Now go do what you have to do to…
Make it a super Weekend,
Kevin

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If the games this weekend are any indication, the Super Bowl is going to be an amazing display of Offense with a touch of Defense thrown in for good measure. America’s Team is still in the hunt..while the Hoodies Team is making tee times. Potentially the NFC championship could break all kinds of “age” records for quarterbacks, and the combined age of AFC quarterbacks barley qualifies for an AARP card.

So what does this have to do with being a Single Dad? How does Football and raising kids relate? It probably doesn’t. But the Super Bowl does give a Dad an opportunity to establish a tradition with his kids that is highly unlikely to be “shared” year in and year out. We have just enjoyed/survived/endured/cried through the 2009 Holiday Season. You may or may not have gotten to spend as much time with your children as you wanted to. The every other Holiday at Dad’s house can get old in a hurry. So this is a perfect time for Dad to establish his own Holiday.

Let’s look at a typical Super Bowl Sunday. You wake up and like 99.99% of Americans have no chance of going to the Big Game. So you go to Church and wear the colors of your favorite Team just to see if anyone picks up on the fact that there is a game today. You get home after a quick stop at the store for chips, dip and beer. Pretend to do stuff around the house. Get the itch to go out around 4 so you get a good seat at the bar. Claim your spot at the bar, toss back a couple of good luck shots, decide on pitchers of beer or Jack and Coke, eat a few dozen wings (halftime buffet isn’t for another 5 hours), and buy the last few squares in the pool. By game time you are looking through one eye, playing darts or pool and missing most of the commercials and all of the game, and oblivious to what game it is much less who is playing. Next thing you know the alarm is going off and you have to go on-line to see who won as you didn’t even make it to half time before the cab came and picked you up.

Sound familiar?

Here is another way to spend the day. Declare Super Bowl weekend Dad’s Weekend. Start planning with your kids your Super Bowl Holiday menu. Let each child select an appetizer and a main course. Use a cook book which has easy to follow instructions so they can “make” their selection. Head to the grocery store on Saturday morning to insure you get all the ingredients. Start cooking on Sat afternoon if you need to make sure there is time to get everything made and hot on Sunday. When your kids are young convince them to go to bed early on Sat because they will be staying up late on Sun to watch the game (this will not work for a child over the age of 11). Make sure you do the wash and everyone has the proper “uniform” for watching the game.

On game day..Have a blast. Enjoy your kids. Cook, laugh, make messes, clean up after yourselves, drink kool-aide and cokes, pig out on your children’s special menu items, and keep track of the commercials you like the best. Make it a Super Day all about you and your children sharing time together. Know that years from now you can probably move the get together anywhere in the world and your kids will know Super Bowl Sunday is their Dad’s Holiday. Cherish having a weekend that is yours no matter what year it is. Don’t worry about the Pools you are in, you can win or lose just as easily at home as in the bar. Make memories (like my oldest turning to me after the half time show and saying “Daddy is that what I think it is?”). Enjoy the Big Game with the most important people in the World..your children.

Now go do what you need to do to..
Make it a super day,
Kevin

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One of the greatest challenges for most Single Dads is the dreaded “C” word. Stop get your mind out of the gutter my kids read my blogs. I’m talking about “C”ooking. Not sure what y’all were doing back in the day when cooking lessons were offered, BUT I know what I was doing recess. Needlesstosay, my first forays into the kitchen were instant classics. Heck I remember my 1st culinary masterpiece Browned hamburger, cowboy beans, peas, 5 slices of American cheese, and for that added crunch ¾ of a bag of extra crispy potato chips crumbled up on top.  Now no comments until you try it because it still is go to comfort food!

However, now you find your self as head cook and bottle washer. Our good rich..very rich..friends at the Arches, the Big headed King’s place, the Daughter’s place and the Colonels place have made it very easy for you to put a meal on the table. Heck they’ve made it so easy that your table becomes portable and if traffic is just right, the meal can be consumed before you get home. This means NO DIRTY DISHES!!! The food has to be good for you because they put nutritional labels on the bag the food comes in, and they no longer use Styrofoam so you aren’t hurting the environment. Truly life is good and you have mastered the whole “meal” thing.

If this is your idea on Family eating, I am wondering why you are even reading my blogs. Obviously the health of you and your children is secondary to the convenience of fast ready to eat meals.  I’m here to tell you that cooking being difficult is a bunch of BS. The only real hard part to cooking is cleaning up the dishes and I do believe that one of God’s plans for kids was to be their parent’s dishwashers. After all you worked for the money to pay for the groceries to cook the food which they chowed down on; someone has got to clean up after wards. I volunteer the kids.

So how to you learn to cook? The same way a famous shoe/sporting goods company wants you to do anything..Just Do It. I learned a valuable lesson from my Mother-in-Law. English was not her native tongue, and she learned English and how to cook by reading cook books. However, many fancy cooking terms don’t translate perfectly. For example..a cook book might have you add chopped onions and mushrooms and bell pepper and bread crumbs and an egg to lean hamburger meat, add a dash of salt and pepper, mix it all together and form 4 or 6 patties. Simple right? Ok the next step is fry the patties in a little oil or butter. Now most of you reading this have a mental picture of a hot skillet with patties cooking away. To a non English speaking person “fry” is what you to do chicken and chicken wings. Know what happens when you drop a patty into a vat of hot oil? The egg oozes out making a spider looking thing while the meat shrivels into a hockey puck. Now here is the lesson I learned. Don’t flush your mistake down the toilet as it will clog your pipes. Double wrap it in newspaper and throw it away, taking the garbage to the can yourself. My point is as you learn to cook expect mistakes..glorious still talk about them to this day mistakes. Toss them and start over.

Involve your kids, watch the food channel together and try to make the dishes. You can go online and get the step by step recipes.  Give each child their own night to come up with what they want. Grocery shop together and make the meal as a Family project. As for the surf and turf and pasta…Take a hot dog (ok everything doesn’t have to be organic and 100% top of the food chart healthy) slice the bottom half length wise once on each side, drop into boiling water. The “legs” will curl out making the hot dog look like an octopus (surf), make a macaroni (pasta) and cheese (turf..from cows) box, prepare some frozen peas or corn or lima beans. There your have if Dad’s Famous and never to be forgotten Surf and Turf and Pasta.

Now go do what you have to do to…
Make it a super day,
Kevin

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