“So what do you do when the person you care about doesn’t want to make changes that will benefit them? First, we need to look at ourselves before we even begin to open our mouths. You can not ask someone to do something that you aren’t first willing to do yourself. If I am overweight, how can I ask the person I care about to lose weight while I sit on the couch?”..this was taken from a blog entry by my friend Matt Hoover (winner of Season 2 on NBC’s The Biggest Loser Reality Show).
Although Matt was talking about how you get loved ones to accept the fact that they need to lose weight, when I read his blog I was struck by how many times I told my kids to do something while showing them that I did the opposite. I want to discuss this theme in today’s blog. Do what I say, not what I do.
I need you to stop what you are doing and be very critical of yourself as a parent right now. Are you guilty of telling your kids to bundle up (according to the President we are in the midst of “Snowmageddon”) and go play outside while you are sitting back in your recliner watching ESPN? Are you guilty of telling your kids to eat their veggies while they see the empty pizza boxes from the nights they were not with you? Do you tell your teenagers to “Never drink and drive” while you routinely have a beer or glass of wine with diner and then drive the Family home? Are you on your kid’s back to do home work while you spend the night on FaceBook or watching TV? Do you harp on your children to do their summer reading and never once read a book in front of them? How about critiquing their “effort/hustle” in sports while waddling around with your “Parent 35” hanging over your belt?
Many things we expect and require our children to do are things we don’t do ourselves. Do you make your bed every day? Do you pick your clothes up off the floor every day? Do you rinse and put away the dishes when your kids are not with you? Do you shine your shoes and dress appropriate every day? Do you exercise and keep your weight at a healthy level? Do you drink and drive? Do you have a beverage to relax as soon as you get home from work? Do you end up tipsy by the time a celebration (birthday, holiday, Saturday) is over? Do you wear your seatbelt all the time? Do you smoke or think you “hide” your smoking from your kids? Do you talk about and/or gossip about neighbors and friends? Do you attend Church on a regular basis? Do you treat your Ex with respect and act friendly when ever you are around her? Do you show up on time for games and events?
Most of what a child learns is through watching and trying to do the same as their Parents. Think back to you lathering up and shaving with your Dad. Remember smoking candy cigarettes? How about playing house and Dad drinking coke in place of Budweiser? Don’t even get me started with dress up or “50’s” dances at school (time to feel OLD the kids are now having 80’s dances). Our children are little sponges and they absorb everything we do. The actions you routinely do are what your children will definitely do. You have a 50/50 chance that they will do anything you “say”.
Time to take a look at the model behavior you are setting for your children. Make changes where you need to. Enjoy being active with your kids. Learning and communicating with your kids. Enjoy being the Father you always wanted to emulate. Today is the day you can make this happen in your life. Just get off your butt and do it.
Now go do what you have to do to…
Make it a super day,
Kevin
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