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Wanted to share a story about a kid I knew. This little boy spent 10+ hours a day outside all summer long. He played any sport he could and made up sports to play ala Calvin Ball. Spent a lot of time barefoot, shirtless and wearing shorts. Sometimes he remembered to wear a ball cap, but like most kids he forgot more than he remembered. He never “tanned” only got “Good Color” fire engine red..followed by Penny bronze. Every 3rd week or so his nose would peel (along with top of ears and 1 or 2 body peels). None of this kept him from being outdoors. Others would cringe at his sunburn, he just laughed it off. He loved to swim, but only in a ditch or creek or pond..going to the beach or a public pool meant wearing that Revenge of the Nerd white nose glop.
As he grew older, he started to wear sunscreen. At least he pretended to wear it. Always need to get that “base” of color before putting the sunscreen on. Unfortunately his hair started to thin out and many days he would comb it after his shower and it hurt big time to comb..you guessed it he had burned his bald spot/part. Funny thing is the young man collected hats. Probably has 100 on nails all around his garage. Most don’t go on the wall until having been worn 10+ times..although you probably have never seen him wear a hat. Even though he lives in an area now that has snow covered ground 5 months of the year, he still manages to keep that copper color farmer tan year round.
Now that he is 50, he visits his Dermatologist every 6 months and always leaves the Office with 10+ “areas of concern” having been treated. On January 6th, he had 2 areas of skin cancer removed and is awaiting the Pathology report as to if the Doc ‘got it all”. Of course, the process starts again in mid May when he goes to visit his Dermatologist to see what new “areas of concern” have popped up. A never ending cycle of wait and see. When he has a “clean bill of health” the joy is great and of course 3 out of 10 times out he “forgets” his sunscreen. When he leaves with “areas of concern” the man becomes a scarred little boy wondering what the cancer will do to him this time.
Unfortunately for me, I did what I did and continue to do what I do, and am paying the price. Having bouts of skin cancer blows and it is something I would never wish on anyone. Everyone is optimistic because “this time it is the good kind of cancer” but the fear of tomorrow and it being the “bad” kind is always there. As a Dad, as a Single Parent, As a Married Parent, it is up to you to make sure your child doesn’t become just like me.
Kids don’t believe for a second that anything can hurt them. Especially the sun. So we Adults need to always be ready to lather up our kids. I recommend you keep a minimum of 7 containers of your favorite sunscreen on hand. Always start the year with new sunscreen (yes it does have a shelf life/expiration). Keep sunscreen on your deck, in your garage, in your golf bag/sports equipment bag(s), in the car, in the house, in your kid’s sports bag(s), and in their back pack. You must set an example and put it on you 1st. Don’t pull the riding bike gig and not wear a helmet but make them wear one. Protect yourself and your children.
When applying sunscreen, make sure you get one that doesn’t sweat off. Insure you protect the area they part their hair, back of knees, tops and bottoms of feet (if going shoeless), sides (most forget this area but that was one of the areas I had removed a couple of days ago), face, neck hands, and any where else the sun might hit. Hats are great, but not always practical (Daddy don’t mess up my hair) so compensate for the lack of hat protection. It is up to you to protect your kids from bad people and bad things. Putting on sunscreen is one of the easier ways we can protect our kids.
Now go do what you have to do to…..
Make it a super day,
Kevin
The other night I was listening to a new Single Dad talk about how much fun he was having with his 2 kids. It seems that when ever Dad had the kids he planned the day to include all kinds of fun things. In fact the point he was making was that being divorced was costing him all kinds of additional money and he was pissed that his wife didn’t ever take the kids anywhere. Seems a typical weekend was costing him around $250 plus he had to spend Saturday evening with his Parents (yep his Mom cooked Saturday dinner and had left-overs for Sunday’s meals). It seemed to him like he had to keep his kids “busy” so they would want to be with him and not choose to stay with their mom.
I didn’t have the heart to tell him that the reason he was spending all this money and eating Saturday dinner at mommies house was his fault not his Ex’s fault. After all why ruin a good old fashion bent out of shape over something made up? Plus he was in no condition to listen, so I figured I’d wait until the bills were just starting to play and not in the middle of another loss.
Here is what I should have shared with my friend. Being a father is more than being the “fun” parent. Being a Dad, means you get to be there for all the things that go on in a child’s life. The good, the bad, and the down right ugly. He should try to plan on being available to his kids all weekend long, plan a trip to the grocery store and buy food to make at his house/apartment, sit and do Monday’s homework, work out together, play a board game or better yet teach them to play poker/cards, just dad things and not Uncle stuff. Be the stay home Parent. Let your Ex be the one to do the “extra” activities. Perhaps plan special outings and event for you and your kids to do together. Next time at your mom’s have her teach you to cook, and then invite Mom and dad to visit you and the kids at y’alls place.
Being a single Parent is so much more than taking the kids to the amusement park, the movies, etc. being a Single parent sucks big time. Your life is consumed with providing for your kids. Embrace the challenge and look for ways to become stronger in what you do and how you act with your kids. Ever wonder why when Dad goes out of town, Mom is expected to function normally, but when Mom goes out of town dad gets all kinds of sympathy? It is because we dads have no clue what raising kids actually means. However, thanks to you being a Single Dad, you no longer get to enjoy this luxury. From today onward, you are going to be expected to function normally. Don’t be scared of this fact of life. Accept it and educate yourself on being a Parent.
There will come a time in your life when you look back and are glad you took the time to be a full time Dad and part time Uncle Dad. Have fun with your kids. Enjoy their lives’ as only a Parent can. Look for ways to teach them how to Love Life and be just like their Old man. Now go do what you need to do to…
Make it a super day,
Kevin
