Last night, as I was relaxing at my favorite watering hole (www.chesterspub.com), I’m listening to a Buddy go on and on about his 10 years old daughter. Believe me, the issue clear: His daughter drove him crazy because all her mannerisms mimicked his Ex. Bottom line, every time he looked at his daughter; he was reminded of his Ex. Of course it didn’t help that his relationship with his daughter’s mom was colder than a witch’s teat in a brass bra.
Y’all should have heard him go off on each and every little detail. He complained about how his daughter walked, talked, pouted, smiled, yelled, snored, burped, laughed and even snorted when she laughed. How she acted all sweet and innocent when she wanted her way, and on and on and on and on. I know he set a personal record for non-stop talking. He didn’t order another beverage or even stop to take a breath. His agitation over his “mini-Ex” phenomenon was a comedy and a tragedy to behold.
Here was a good Father who was letting his anger towards his Ex cloud his relationship with his child. He was missing so damn much because when he saw the slightest similarity between his daughter and her mom, he totally freaked out inside. His whole demeanor changed..laughs became smiles, shrugs became deep breaths, fun became routine, and Dad became bitter. He knew it was wrong, but felt powerless to do anything about it. His solution was to wait it out and hope things got better.
Now this is where the story gets “very interesting”. You see my friend and his Ex both continue to enjoy the atmosphere at Chester’s. They just don’t enjoy it at the same time.
After my friend left, you guessed it, his Ex walked in. And imagine what she is discussing with her friends?
Yep! She’s talking about how frustrated she is that everything her daughter did was the mirror image of her Ex! I had to ask if she was serious. She was! In fact, she listed about 10 things her daughter had done in the past week that was exactly the way her Ex would have acted. Not surprising, when these things came up, she would cringe and try very hard not to let her anger ruin her time with her daughter.
What does this all mean? Very simply this: Your child is your child. Not you or your Ex’s clone. Get over it, they will always mimic you. After all they don’t have too many other adults to mimic. But, they don’t do it on purpose, to get attention or to piss you off. They do it because they LOVE You. Remember, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. So go ahead and LOVE your child for the wonderful person he or she is, for all the wonderful qualities they they have picked up from the two people they love most. And for goodness sake… keep your anger towards your Ex for jokes at the bar.
Now go do what you need to do to…
Make it a super day,
Kevin
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