One of the most common things people say in a divorce situation is “It is all about the child/children.” In fact I would be willing to bet that at some point you and/or your Ex sat down together or alone with your kids and said something along the lines of “Mommy and Daddy will always LOVE YOU. However, we don’t LOVE each other anymore.”
Do we really think kids are that STUPID? Here is a youngster being told…I’ll always LOVE YOU while in the same breath being told “That person who I knew before you were born..well I don’t LOVE her anymore”. What is a child supposed to think? Is it any wonder their little brains are confused with the whole Mommy and Daddy aren’t together anymore thoughts?
Do not believe for a minute that you and your Ex talking with your child is going to make everything all right. If y’all were such great communicators you would probably still be married to begin with. Because of this you must be on the look out for emotional issues with your child.
The sooner you get help for your child the easier it will be to get a handle on the problem. Do not think you can do this alone. Even if you are medically trained in psychology..this is your child you are talking about. You think you already know the answers. Do your child and yourself a favor and seek Outside Professional help.
What should you look out for? Here are a few..by no means all..things to watch out for:
• Constant stomach ache without throwing up or a fever (ulcer)
• Excessive crying when leaving the house or a Parent (separation anxiety)
• Anger outbursts, uncontrollable temper, hitting, biting, scratching themselves or others
• Not able to sleep, bed wetting, reverting back to early child hood
• Yelling, cussing, unable to carry on normal conversation
• Refusal to do homework, losing homework, poor grades (attention seeking)
• Stop saying I Love You and/or kissing you hello or goodnight
• No longer taking care of their pet (just like you stopped taking care of them)
• Change in normal attitude/behavior
• Stopping a like for activities (sports, clubs, music, etc)
Monitor your child’s actions. Keep a journal. Be prepared to see things your Ex doesn’t. Always keep a dialog open with your Ex about behavior. After all my friend…it really is “All about the Children.”
Now go do what you need to do to,
Make it a super day,
Kevin
